Don't you just love the idea of a shoe closet full of Manolos and Louboutins, all beautifully boxed up with Polaroids to identify them? Or better still, a walk-in wardrobe like the one in Carrie and Big's apartment in the Sex and the City movies?
My stand-out memory of the first SATC is not the drama or the romance or The Ending – it's the sound of a cinema theatre full of women gasping as Carrie stepped into that heavenly space.
Sadly, I do not have a penthouse in Manhattan and, even more sadly, Polaroid film has been discontinued. So when I did a Shoe Census, Sort and Cull™ a couple of weeks ago, my approach was a bit more down-to-earth.
Your Guide to the ShoeClub patented
Shoe Census, Sort and Cull™
You will need: shoe boxes (duh...) It's nice to use the ones the shoes came in originally, but cardboard doesn't last as well as leather. The Vivienne Westwood patent moc-croc and camel heels below are a few years old but Viv evidently invested in quality packaging, as it has stood the test of time almost as well as these swoonsome stilettos.
Next: something soft to wrap your treasures in. You need to protect them from knocks, heat, scratches, moisture – and just generally to remind them how much you love them. Silk scarves, for example. I collect scarves from Portobello market and charity shops, where you can buy them cheaply by the handful. A well-chosen scarf also adds to the aesthetic pleasure of opening the box to unveil something like these palest pistachio and lilac Sergio Rossi 70s-style platform sandals, non?
Don't be tempted, by the way, to swaddle them in anything too precious – family heirlooms or the like. Being wrapped around a pair of shoes does a silk scarf no good at all, especially if it's a pair of glitter-encrusted heels like these (below) from Kurt Geiger. Prioritise while you accessorize, that's our mantra in the shoe cupboard (fact.)
While in storage, the toes and uppers should, of course, be padded. Tissue paper is best, being soft enough to mould into shape but firm enough to stay put – plus it looks pretty (see the chocolate-and-banana ponyskin mules, below, from Kurt Geiger.)
If you are the kind of person who regularly arrives home breathlessly excited with a new shoe acquisition, only to be faced with an almost identical pair that you'd clean forgotten about – your Shoeblogger pleads guilty here – it's worth considering storage solutions to keep similar styles corralled. I have no idea how I ended up with three variations on the canary yellow patent summer number, especially with my skin tone, but the evidence is below.
Hopefully a large box full of clearly labelled yellow summer shoes will be easier to recall next time I am faced with a perfect pair of primrose pumps, or whatever. (Although v excited to note the yellow platforms below on the Mulberry catwalk at London Fashion Week today. That's one look for spring/summer 2012 sorted.)
(Via Style.com.)
Where were we? Oh yes. Once the babies are all tucked up and ready for bed, you need to label their boxes. Personally, I favour a neat white postcard and a Sharpie for this job. As a Shoeblogger I spend quite a bit of time considering how to describe shoes anyhow. I also believe that contemplating the shoes you own is a useful exercise. If you find yourself writing 'Black patent peep-toe seven-inch wedge-heel gimp boots' over and over again, perhaps you need to reconsider your buying habits (or your lifestyle. Just saying.)
A note on labelling: the clearer the better – er, clearly. 'Clear' does not have to mean 'brief'. For instance, I only own one pair of Armani leopard ponyskin shoes, so it is not necessary to clarify whether they be pumps, mules, or thigh-high lace-up boots (if only...) On the other hand, I have a lot of Kurt Geiger black shoes of all kinds, and a lot of Kurt Geiger mules of several kinds. But only one pair of – well, these:
And if you can think of a more memorable description than 'geo-spike heel black leather mules' I'd be happy to consider it.
One of the inevitable outcomes of a good Shoe Census etc is that you will discover great shoes you'd almost forgotten about, but another is that you will realise you have Too Many Shoes. Ok, you already knew this. You have shoes you never wear because they hurt. Shoes that you love but that are in dreadful condition. Shoes you wear because they are comfortable, but wearing them never makes you feel excited.
There is only one thing to do: bite the bullet and pull out the bin liner. On the occasion in question I delivered NINETEEN pairs of shoes and boots to my local TRAID charity shop (a selection of which are above.) Some were worn but in good condition, some were almost unworn and practically mint. Some lucky charity shopper will score an excellent pair of designer Robert Clergerie ankle boots in the softest black leather going (great boots, just not me.) Shoebloggers advice is: look at your storage space, look at your lifestyle, look at the shoes that make you happy, and don't look back (damn, did I really toss those black and fluoro green patent slingbacks?)
On that note, I'm off to take another look at those next season Mulberry platforms...