Shell games

When it comes to shoe shopping, I am a romantic. I fall in love first and do background checks later. This means I have a bad habit of investing in fab footwear in the heat of the moment, only to remember – too late – that there are already half a dozen similar items back in the shoe closet. So nowadays when hitting the sales I carry a mental checklist of shoe styles to steer clear of. These include:

• leopard/zebra/dalmatian/tiger prints. All too easy to overindulge, especially in the last few seasons when they’ve been all over the high street like a scene from The Beasts Are On The Streets. With animal print a little goes a long way (especially if it’s blue*);
• python and ostrich. Fake python or ostrich skin never looks as good as, say, mock-croc, while the real thing is a bit queasy-making unless done in moderation;
• anything yellow. My wardrobe already contains far more lemon/canary/primrose than any sensible Celtic-complexioned person ought to have.

The corollary, of course, is the list of Shoe Types One Can Never have Too Many Of. For instance:

• anything red, especially anything red and pointy;
• anything gold;
• anything tortoiseshell.

Tortoiseshell is rarely a problem because, generally speaking, there’s not that much of it about. This stunning pair of tortoiseshell patent “Fever” stilettos by Stuart Weitzman is a perennial classic (also available in other colours and finishes.) The tortoiseshell version featured in the September 2011 issue of US Harper’s Bazaar, which made me do a double-take as I’ve had mine for years.

Sad to say, even thgough I adore my “Fever”s they are the most uncomfortable shoes I own, bar none. They are so spectacularly narrow and high that putting them on is like squeezing your toes into a nutcracker. (Their popularity makes one wonder if the practice of foot-binding is more widespread than one might have imagined.)

Happily, there are no comfort issues with my latest acquisitions. Jonathan Kelsey has designed some of the most gorgeous tortoiseshell shoes of recent seasons, and, better still, he has collaborated with the UK department store Debenhams to make a super-affordable line. These shoe-boots (below) have 4-inch (10cm) heels, gold soles, and mushroom suede uppers. Patent tortoiseshell wraps around from toe to heel. They look good, and they feel great.

*Below, blue zebra-print heels by Balenciaga, as blogged by Anna Dello Russo in November 2011. Click here to see blue zebra-print heels blogged by me in July 2010.