Shell games

When it comes to shoe shopping, I am a romantic. I fall in love first and do background checks later. This means I have a bad habit of investing in fab footwear in the heat of the moment, only to remember – too late – that there are already half a dozen similar items back in the shoe closet. So nowadays when hitting the sales I carry a mental checklist of shoe styles to steer clear of. These include:

• leopard/zebra/dalmatian/tiger prints. All too easy to overindulge, especially in the last few seasons when they’ve been all over the high street like a scene from The Beasts Are On The Streets. With animal print a little goes a long way (especially if it’s blue*);
• python and ostrich. Fake python or ostrich skin never looks as good as, say, mock-croc, while the real thing is a bit queasy-making unless done in moderation;
• anything yellow. My wardrobe already contains far more lemon/canary/primrose than any sensible Celtic-complexioned person ought to have.

The corollary, of course, is the list of Shoe Types One Can Never have Too Many Of. For instance:

• anything red, especially anything red and pointy;
• anything gold;
• anything tortoiseshell.

Tortoiseshell is rarely a problem because, generally speaking, there’s not that much of it about. This stunning pair of tortoiseshell patent “Fever” stilettos by Stuart Weitzman is a perennial classic (also available in other colours and finishes.) The tortoiseshell version featured in the September 2011 issue of US Harper’s Bazaar, which made me do a double-take as I’ve had mine for years.

Sad to say, even thgough I adore my “Fever”s they are the most uncomfortable shoes I own, bar none. They are so spectacularly narrow and high that putting them on is like squeezing your toes into a nutcracker. (Their popularity makes one wonder if the practice of foot-binding is more widespread than one might have imagined.)

Happily, there are no comfort issues with my latest acquisitions. Jonathan Kelsey has designed some of the most gorgeous tortoiseshell shoes of recent seasons, and, better still, he has collaborated with the UK department store Debenhams to make a super-affordable line. These shoe-boots (below) have 4-inch (10cm) heels, gold soles, and mushroom suede uppers. Patent tortoiseshell wraps around from toe to heel. They look good, and they feel great.

*Below, blue zebra-print heels by Balenciaga, as blogged by Anna Dello Russo in November 2011. Click here to see blue zebra-print heels blogged by me in July 2010.

A morning in the Shoe Galleries

Selfridges department store on Oxford Street is both a venerable London institution and a bona fide emporium of up-to-the-second style. Last month they opened the Shoe Galleries, ''a 35,000 square-foot shrine to shoes featuring 55,000 pairs of shoes and 4,000 on display''. Naturally, I was very excited and a ShoeClub excursion was planned. To ''do'' the Galleries properly I drafted some help: Shoe Assistant and model for the day, Lily (aged seven-and-a-half), and her mum, Heather. The girls drove up from Suburbia on Saturday morning and we prepared to be wowed.

First stop: Dolce & Gabbana, where Lily tried on these shell-pink patent pumps (above). Very nice, but the pink sequinned peep-toe stilettos (below) were our favourites. Who can resist an update of Dorothy in Oz's red shoes? And Lily's candy-striped socks really rocked this look.

We were somewhat underwhelmed by Jimmy Choo, and surprised at how those Chanel yeti-boots that look so tempting on Freja Beha in reality felt a bit... polyester. So on to the boudoiresque Christian Louboutin concession, which was full of customers and even fuller of cheerful and friendly staff. We liked the mirrored display cabinets, and loved the bejewelled trainers and gold-studded shoe boots. These red and black patent and net stilettos (below) were comparatively understated but, oh, so chic.

While Lily tried on a great pair of red and black snake print Jonathan Kelsey peep-toe heels (above), I fell in love big-time with the Viktor & Rolf ''Coconut'' platform boots (above and below). At £495 they were considerably cheaper than many of the shoes that were catching Lily's expert eye – including a wonderful pair of Alexander McQueen wedge boots, which, she pointed out, had a very smart little silver plaque on the sole. Still, a bit of a splurge for a Saturday morning, so we kept moving.

Next stop, the main Designer Room, where I spent quite a while ooh-ing and ah-ing over some fabulous Lanvin wedge heels (below). Alberto, the very sweet shop assistant, almost had me persuaded that I could justify the price tag (somewhere north of seven hundred quid) – but not today.

Back in the ''Exclusives Arena'', Lily hit on a mini-trend for gold studs. These black suede and gold studded shoe boots by Mulberry were, she assured us, very comfortable (if about three sizes too big) and the neutral-toned Stella McCartney classics-with-a-twist (bottom) were also a hit.

Exhausted by our morning, we adjourned to Soho for lunch and gelati. As Lily wrote up our notes (below), Heather and I reflected on the fact that once she is actually old enough to wear these styles, my goddaughter is going to cost me a fortune in Christmas and birthday presents. Well, she does have excellent taste in shoes.